I often have clients who are grappling with uncertainties in their relationships, particularly more casual relationships or toxic relationships. It can help to know what your rights are as people who are caught in a toxic web often feel obliged or guilty about putting their own needs first.

We all need to manage our relationship boundaries and this can be delicate. If you change the status quo of a relationship you can expect a reaction, but who is to judge that response? For example, if you decide that a friendship is toxic and you no longer want to indulge the friendship and you put in place a new boundary — who is to say that the person in question won’t learn something positive from your refusal to participate?

Many people assume too much responsibility in their relationships but what would it be like to give some of that responsibility back? To feel okay about doing it? Have a look at this list of your legitimate rights – they may surprise you …

Remember. Just as you have these rights, so too do others …

1. You have a right to need things from others.
2. You have a right to put yourself first sometimes
3. You have a right to feel and express your emotions or your pain
4. You have the right to be the final judge of your beliefs and accept them as legitimate
5. You have the right to your opinions and convictions
6. You have the right to your experience – even if its different to that of other people
7. You have a right to protest any treatment or criticism that feels bad to you
8. You have a right to negotiate for change
9. You have a right to ask for help, emotional support, or anything else you need (even though you may not always get it)
10. You have a right to say no; saying no doesn’t make you bad or selfish
11. You have a right not to justify yourself to others
12. You have a right not to take responsibility for someone else’s problem.
13. You have a right to choose not to respond to a situation.
14. You have a right, sometimes, to inconvenience or disappoint others.