http://www.novaholisticjournal.com/

As an activity in practicing mindfulness, go have a look around your backyard or head to your nearest park and hunt for little things: find a leaf or rock or something that takes your eye, and sings…

Sit down and look at your leaf or rock or object, take the time to quietly notice using all of your senses: your sense of sight, touch, smell, the kineasthetic sense of imagining all those molecules that are tightly bound into forming the object that you hold.

Apply this ‘present’ mind awareness at any time to increase your sense of wonder. It is a grounding activity to commune in spaces and with nature. When you increase your sense of wonder, you say YES to life and you enlarge your vision of it too.

When you are present, you reduce resistance. You remind yourself that you have time, YOUR TIMESCALE to sit and reflect and BE without judgement of yourself. Pausing to listen to the noises around you, or the sights you can see, or the feeling of your body in space. Remind yourself not to let other people Hurry You and not to apply that pressure to yourself.

Anais Nin once said: “We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.” Give yourself the gift of space and time to wonder again.

When was the last time you read some poetry?

I often set poetry reading as an at-home activity for my clients, particularly the ones who have come from the country to live in the city and who have lost some of the connection to the landscapes they love and are attached to.

To help guide your interest in poetry have a think about what you are attached to? Animals, people, the city, the bush?

A great poet for city lover’s – lovers of culture and the grit of life is a collection I’ve been reading by Allen Ginsberg who was one of the great beat poets who wrote from the late 40s to late 90s. What a poet! He is a descriptive God.

Ginsberg is a thinker’s poet. He records his experience and his poems are highly autobiographical yet written so well that his experience is familiar.

If you’re interested in looking for an easy mental escape or if you need to reinforce your connections to place or promote your other attachments, why not seek out a book of poetry at a good book store like Planet Books in Mt Lawley or that new bookstore Beaufort Street Books in Highgate.

Art recalls the memory

Of his true existence

to whoever has forgotten

that Being is the one thing

all the universe shouts.  

-        Allen Ginsberg.

If you’re looking for a good poet to begin your quest try reading anything by Rainer Maria Rilke. You will not be disappointed!

Many people experience mental rigidity and this negatively impacts on their capacity to feel joy. They don’t allow much pleasure in their life: LIFE HAS TO HAVE A POINT, RIGHT? They say “No” to sewing. They say “No” to laughter and cheekiness. They say “No” — and like to play it safe.

There is a positive side to perfectionism. Having very high standards means that if you decide to paint your house you’re going to do a super job! Or, if you’re going to make a child’s cake from that uber-decadent book of magical cakes from Women’s Weekly Magazine, then you’re going to give it the best and it’s going to look A-MAZING.

It’s good to be good at things. It’s great to take pleasure in making things nice.

The problem with perfectionism occurs when the point of the task is lost. The child that spends so much time colouring in between the lines that it takes her 5 times longer than her classmates. Colouring in is not an act of joy but a task to get JUST RIGHT and then at the end, the perfectionist will stand back and see flaws. They do not reward themselves for the tasks they have achieved they only hook into what they feel they didn’t get quite right. All that effort forever goes unrewarded.

Perfectionism can give people a sense of control. That can be good. You can feel good about your clean house – clean house clean mind, but what happens if you don’t get what you want? Do you feel anxious and irritated? What if the kids keep undermining your glistening floors, greasy fingers on clean windows, yet another poo on the floor!

It is a trap to feel that due to a sense of obligation you are always working even when you’re NOT WORKING.  The weekends are a blur of tasks to get done: the garden, the cleaning. jobs jobs. check lists. more to do…

A personality disorder called Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder takes perfectionism to the extreme. This is a problem of Rules, Orderliness, and Control. This disorder is NOT the same as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (an anxiety disorder) although the attempt to maintain control is common to both.

When I am with clients and I suspect a very high degree of perfectionism, the main clue I look for I gauge by whether the person can stop and listen and communicate. The person who has OCPD speaks as if they are reading from a script. They believe they are right, incalculably so that they find it hard to stop and consider other view points. Communication is not an interaction. They have already decided what value they will give you and their attention reflects this bias. They typically minimise your input. They are so driven it is as if they act as their own overseer. They have a monkey on their back that says GO GO GO.

They do not stop and listen when you speak – they may be quiet, but they are still thinking of rolling out their thoughts. They always-always talk about work. Or their home which they regard as work. Or their family that must achieve and work. They are driven without knowing why. They do not question the meaningfulness of their actions and efforts. Consequently, they can be very dull to other people. Their relationships can suffer…

When you suggest Stopping. Observing. Looking at the meaning, their anxiety shoots to the surface. Ironically, they are not in control at all – they are living out their greatest fear under the pretense of Just KEEP SWIMMING.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy – a highly structured therapy is very helpful for people with OCPD to help them to understand their thoughts and the connection of their mental rigidity to their moods and poor relationships.

One of the exercises I prescribe for someone with extreme mental rigidity comes from Improv Wisdom, by Patricia Madson. The exercise is to practice saying YES to everything offered to you for just one day. This comes with the caveat that people need to maintain their health so do not eat cheesecake if you are offered a slice and have diabetes, but do take it home to a loved one instead.

Practice letting go of your mental resistance and need for control, say YES. Perhaps write the word YES with a permanent marker on your hand as a visual reminder. Go for JOY not drudgery.

• Ignore Everybody: And 39 other Keys to Creativity, by Hugh MacLeod.
• The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brene Brown
• Autonomy and Rigid Character, by David Shapiro
• Life is A Verb: 37 Days to Wake UP, Be Mindful, And Live Intentionally
• Composition In Retrospect, by John Cage, WE LOVE GETTING YOU LOOKING AT ART!
• Collected Poems, Allen Ginsberg: We LOVE GETTING YOU READING POETRY!
• Couples Therapy: Homework Planner.
• The Red Book, by Carl Jung.

I often have clients who are grappling with uncertainties in their relationships, particularly more casual relationships or toxic relationships. It can help to know what your rights are as people who are caught in a toxic web often feel obliged or guilty about putting their own needs first.

We all need to manage our relationship boundaries and this can be delicate. If you change the status quo of a relationship you can expect a reaction, but who is to judge that response? For example, if you decide that a friendship is toxic and you no longer want to indulge the friendship and you put in place a new boundary — who is to say that the person in question won’t learn something positive from your refusal to participate?

Many people assume too much responsibility in their relationships but what would it be like to give some of that responsibility back? To feel okay about doing it? Have a look at this list of your legitimate rights – they may surprise you …

Remember. Just as you have these rights, so too do others …

1. You have a right to need things from others.
2. You have a right to put yourself first sometimes
3. You have a right to feel and express your emotions or your pain
4. You have the right to be the final judge of your beliefs and accept them as legitimate
5. You have the right to your opinions and convictions
6. You have the right to your experience – even if its different to that of other people
7. You have a right to protest any treatment or criticism that feels bad to you
8. You have a right to negotiate for change
9. You have a right to ask for help, emotional support, or anything else you need (even though you may not always get it)
10. You have a right to say no; saying no doesn’t make you bad or selfish
11. You have a right not to justify yourself to others
12. You have a right not to take responsibility for someone else’s problem.
13. You have a right to choose not to respond to a situation.
14. You have a right, sometimes, to inconvenience or disappoint others.

Want to train your mind? Learn the basics of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). The premise of this model is that your mood follows your thoughts, so if you change your thoughts you can change the way you feel. As part of CBT you can learn about maladaptive-thinking styles and how your mind can get you into trouble. Discover a deeper level and uncover your underlying belief-system – is it helpful? What are your traps? Know and set goals around what you value to lead a meaningful life.

In Cognitive Behaviour Threapy you learn how to use an evidence-based model to challenge your thoughts, and you devise positive actions for behavioural change. You learn how to defuse your thinking and how to bring down your levels of stress, anxiety and/or depression. You can adopt healthy strategies for relaxation. Learn the good stuff!

WOhoo!                                                                                                                                                 

Call Dr Hughes and lets get it happening! 0433 500 606

The findings from an online survey commissioned by the Australian Psychological Society were recently reported as a part of Mental Health Week. The survey showed that higher than ever levels of stress are being experienced, particularly by younger Australians. The key findings from the survey were:

• 12% of Australians report experiencing severe levels of stress.
• Young adults (18 to 25 years) report higher levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and significantly lower levels of wellbeing compared to the general population.
• 1 in 3 Australians report experiencing depressive symptoms.
• 1 in 4 Australians report experiencing significant anxiety.
• Those experiencing family or recent relationship breakdown and those who are separated reported higher levels of stress and distress.
• 52% of Australians report financial issues as the main cause of their stress.
• 30% of people identified the workplace as a source of stress.

The primary sources of stress experienced by Australians relate to financial issues, personal health difficulties, family issues and the health of others.

It is important for people who are experiencing considerable degrees of stress and who may be feeling distressed to seek help from their GP or to talk to a clinical psychologist. Did you know that Medicare funds up to 16-sessions for each person per calendar year for conditions such as depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress, drug and alcohol use and complications of bereavement.

With a referral from a GP, you can see a Clinical Psychologist and receive a rebate for each session.  Get busy with your wellbeing and learn how to better cope with stress. Make an appointment with Dr Simone Hughes TODAY.

The first step is to help people clarify their plan, problem, or challenge they face and to write it as a specific problem statement. Then we go to town!

There are 7-stages to a THINKPAK brainstorming sessions as well as an evaluation stage where the ideas generated are put through tests. We work with well-known idea generating strategies. For example, the Lotus Blossom is an exercise that starts with a central theme and works outward. Central themes lead to ideas that themselves become central themes. The unfolding is like unfolding petals that trigger new ideas and themes.

Einstein imagined he was a beam of light hurtling through space, which led him to the theory of relatively. Antoine Feutchwanger tried to sell sausages: first on a plate, then with gloves (the hotdogs were hot!), and finally his brother-in-law suggested “What if I bake a long roll and slit it down the middle to hold the sausage: You sell the sausage and I’ll sell the bread. Who knows, it might catch on?” The post-it note was created when Arthur Fry, a 3M chemist, dropped his bookmark from his hymnal and understood that the purpose of the glue should be in attaching paper to paper.

The 7-stage brainstorming process is named SCAMPER:

Substitute something.

Combine it with something else.

Adapt something to it.

Modify it or Magnify it.

Put it to some other use.

Eliminate something.

Reverse or Rearrange it.

THINK PAK helps you to generate a quantity of ideas quickly. The process of applying THINK PAK can be done randomly or sequentially. There are lots of opportunities to see the problem from different perspectives. We work with individuals and in group sessions. Group sessions are fun: especially when participants start to piggy-back on each other’s ideas.

Get introduced to THINKPAK.