Posted by Dr.Hughes in the Creative Community category on 30-12-2011
- Understand that your resolution needs to be specific and measurable. How will you know when you’ve achieved your goal? To set a goal you need to be clear about What you want to achieve, When you want to achieve it, How you will go about achieving it, and WHY you want to achieve it. Do you want to lose weight so that you will fit more comfortably into your clothes or to have more energy? If you want to achieve something, put an affirmation around your home about why the goal is important to you – a reminder in the bathroom, for example.
- Know what you VALUE. Values are like lighthouses in the distance that keep you on track. Goals that are set in line with your values tend to be more meaningful.
- Often the pressure of New Year Resolutions and the tendency to make a bigger resolution rather than take smaller steps leads to people foregoing their resolution entirely. Goal setting isn’t black and white – it’s a learning process.
- With some goals, especially changing bad habits such as smoking and drinking behaviour, you may need to consider what you are going to fill the void with, by stopping. A negative behaviour has a purpose. You will need to address what purpose the behaviour serves and whether you are likely to be satisfied with a healthier alternative.
- In behaviour change, the costs of not changing the behaviour need to outweigh the benefits of keeping the behaviour. For example, your perception of the likely costs of developing lung cancer need to outweigh the benefits you get from smoking. For behaviour change, costs need to exceed the benefits of keeping the behaviour. This ‘equation’ plugs directly into motivation.
- Take away the self-judgement and get some perspective. Behaviour change is difficult and there can be reasons that make it even harder, such as temperament and personality factors. Learn to be kind to yourself. If you experience a set-back, try to imagine what you would say to a friend who has experienced the same set-back. We tend to be kinder as friends then we are to ourselves! If you learn self-compassion you are more likely to understand about the factors holding you back in a non-judgemental way.
- Resolutions need not be to change a negative behaviour. Why not have a positive New Year’s Resolution like dance more, or take more relaxing baths, or be more creative!
- Find a way to be accountable. Get a psychologist or friend who will facilitate your process for change and hold you to account. A psychologist is trained in behaviour change and the challenges that can undermine success. Often the root cause of failing to change behaviour is a low stress tolerance. If you can increase your emotional resilience you are more likely to succeed.
Best wishes for 2012! 
